Buutros Buutros by jjfnord It had been seventeen weeks since the last time Ritchie had eaten eggs. He had been plagued by the nightmares again. He knew what he had to do to overcome his fear. He drove to the supermarket and bought one dozen grade A jumbo farm fresh eggs. As he was driving home his nightmare started to become his reality. It started with a slight tapping noise followed by a series of "peeps". The eggs were hatching. He pressed harder on the accelerator, hoping to get home sooner, and to get away from the eggs. A baby chick made its way out of the carton and into the front seat, followed by eleven more. Then the pecking attack began. Ritchie tried to avoid being pecked in the eyes by closing them, however, in the ensuing panic, he forgot he was driving. Barely avoiding a collision with a bus full of nuns, he swerved off to the side of the road. He began crushing the baby chicks by fist and foot, stomping and pounding the vile creatures into a bloody, feathery paste. Feeling his work was done, he continued homeward. But, unbeknownst to him, there was one survivor who jumped up onto his chest and pecked Ritchies eyes out. He careened off of the road into a car full of alter boys and died a horrible death. The moral of the story is: Count your chickens before they hatch. |
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 Our Fears: Our Subconscious Desires? |
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