 For me, a trip to the mall became an experiment in barter last week. I was walking around, as usual, with my ten pounds of rabbit feed, and I thought to myself, "What can I get for ten pounds of rabbit feed?" The experiment began at the Electronics Boutique. With ten pounds of rabbit feed in one hand and a few electronic devices in the other, I asked the clerk how much I could get for these ten pounds of rabbit feed. The clerk was very patronizing, and told me that I couldn't get anything there because they did not accept rabbit food, but he was trying to fight the system. So, I had to pull out the synthetic, green pieces of money, and pay him. The first experiment failed, and I was left holding the ten pounds of rabbit feed. I decided that I would walk around a bit more. With the ten pounds of rabbit feed in hand I began to window shop. I looked into Victoria's Secret along with several other stores. Yes, I bet you, the reader, is wondering why I did not go into Victoria's Secret! Well, I am no longer allowed into Victoria's Secret without a security escort. However, that story will remain a secret between Victoria and myself! As I walked, the ten pounds of rabbit feed began to tire my arms. I decided it was time to attack another store. Which store should I attack? Which store should I test my experiment out on next? Yes, you are right! I tested my experiment on the closest store to me! Spencer's. The people at Spencer's lacked a sense of humor. The clerk there told me that I should return my feed to the pet store. I tried to assure him that it was perfectly good rabbit feed, but he did not want to hear it. I left that store rather quickly and later I filed a complaint with the management. My last and final stop was the World of Science. I expected, above all else, that a store dedicated to science would accept rabbit feed in trade for product. However, they did not accept my feed! I was shocked, I was amazed, and I was saddened. I was expecting this reply, because the World of Science makes most of its money by selling "Beanie Babies." The person at the World Of Science told me that I should get a rabbit with my feed. I began to wonder if ten pounds of rabbit feed should be my product of choice. I wondered if the only thing I would get out of ten pounds of rabbit feed would be a well fed rabbit or ten pounds of rabbit waste. Either way, I still do not receive a product. I have decided that I should try this experiment some other time with another product to trade with. The product of choice will be ten pounds of ground beef. Wish me luck! |
