(Editor's note: Isn't ignorance-driven paranoia just wonderful?)          What you say? My Arch DeluxeTM, SM, R, C was prepared by Karl Marx? My Fried Chicken is actually prepared by Red Blooded Communists??          I'm sorry to report that new information has finally presented itself that proves once and for all that several of the larger chain-food "restaurants" (if you want to call them that), are in cahoots with the commies. I don't believe you! you mutter? Impossible! you say? Well let's consider some facts. 1) The offical colors of the Communist party are red, white, and yellow. McDonalds, maker of the famed Arch Deluxe (doesn't the arch deluxe sound suspicously like a Sickle and Hammer theme?) has that exact color scheme for their image. Pizza Hut seems to love their huts RED! Burger King loves their red and orange (a dervative of yellow and red) lettering. Kentucky's offical colors neither red NOR white, but their chicken places' colors are. Chic-Fil-A loves red and white as well as cows. 2) The names used by fast food resturants seem suspicously close to that of certain Communist advocates. Does the name FRIEDerich Engels (a little-known Communist advocate-- look it up) have soemthing to do with Kentucky FRIED Chiken? McDonalds ARch deluXe (MARX) is kinda suspicous. Burger KING may simply mean an overall ruler of the industry. Henceforth, Communisim. 3) Commercials seem to only intensify Communist teachings... A Burger King commercial recently showed a head of letuce rolling. Does this have links to 'heads will roll' Communist threat often heard? McDonalds appeals to the younger children, often making them WANT to go to McDonalds. Perhaps McDonalds is planning one day to teach children to turn in their non-Communist parents. (See related EBBSM article, The American Children's Guide to Communism.) 4) Food lends itself to communist ties... McDonalds, no red white and blue Pepsi here, just red and white Coke. Perhaps Burger Kings "flame broiled" only shows how America will burn in time. Its not just for taste anymore. All fast food is the same, reflecting the Communist tendencies towards non-induviduality and conformity. 5) The explanation of Communism lends itself to the fast food industry...          As definded by websters: "..a belief that increases concentration of industrial control in the capitalist class and the consequential intensification of class antagonisms and of misery among the workers..."          I know I've never met a happy-to-help fast food employee.          So who is safe you say. Well so far my search has uncovered only TWO non-communist food resturant. And only one of them serves American food. That is Subway. Yes, not only are they healthy, actually fast, cheap, and have good that actually tastes good, they don't have a BIT of communisim in them. Look around, it's all American in there. We salute you Subway, keep making those sandwiches that keep America free.

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	Ross Deihm says, "Please give to the Ross-Deihm-wants-to-one-day-be-rich fund. All donations go towards me for use by me. So there!"

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