It was the fall of '42 or was it '53? Anyway, as I was saying, it was the fall of '49 and cars weren't invented yet so we had to take our truck instead. We drove down to the boat shop. They didn't have stores back then, just shops. Anyway, I was finally going to get my own boat so I could help with the fishing. We did real fishing back then, not like the kind of fishing you do today where you just cast a line, wait and reel it in! No, we did real man fishing! Once I caught my fish I brought it to shore. It was 3 feet long. I never understood the joke about fishermen lying about the size of the fish they catch. Anyway, as I was saying, I caught a 10 foot fish and brought it to shore. We usually made fish sandwiches. We didn't have toasters back then so we would put the bread on a stick along with some marshmallows. Back then, you had to pick your own marshmallows. We grew our own in the backyard. Soon, the winter came so I decided to become a soldier in WW2. They put me in a ship and we sailed across the Atlantic. Oooowweee, you should have seen that ship! There were so many holes that we went on shift plugging them with our hands! We'd rotate every hour to a new hole. Well, as I was saying we flew in an airplane across to Vietnam. Speakin' of airplanes, when I was a kid, those who thought you could fly were sent to the loony house by a psychologist. Well actually, we didn't really have psychologists back then so it was more of a witch hunt. Why'd they get rid of witch hunts anyway? Since when did people stop believing in witches? I mean, just look and your aunt Ermma!
AUNT ERMMA: Hey, I heard that!
GRAMPA McGILLICUTI: Well hear this too! Hurry up with my hotcakes and bring me my pills! As I was saying, we were off fighting in 'Nam when the natives came out with their napalm guns. Terrible weapons! Alls we had was British soldiers on horse-back with drummers in the front playing songs! When the bullets from out muskets hit the bullets from their muskets, they'd fuse together to form flat, round thingys. All the kids would come runnin' out to collect them and play pogs. When I was a kid, we had to make pogs ourselves. You'd have to actually use a sharp rock and carve a design into them. I usually used the caps from milk bottles. I'd chase after the milk truck to get free milk and caps. Eventually the driver would get out, pull out his rifle and threaten me. But nope, I didn't care! I'd just pull out my rifle and threaten him! Ya see, back then, everyone owned a gun, even kids. There were a lot of cracked of milk-truck drivers back then so yous always had to have some sort of defense! Son, son, where'd ya go?
AUNT ERMMA: He was never here! You was talkin' to the dog again!
GRAMPA McGILLICUTI: Ermma, don't you be insultin' me like that! That aint no dog, that's a cat! AND WHERE's MA PILLS!
