Everybody
knows of the world famous Monkees, but what most people
don't know about is the fifth band member, Jimi the
Monkee.
Jimi the Monkee was a short man, which didn't matter because he was invisible and Jimi the Monkee had a very strange voice, which didn't matter because he was mute. Jimi the Monkee would spend all day doing special effects for the Monkees spiffy television show, The Monkees, because making things look like they were floating through the air was easy for him to do.
One day, Jimi the Monkee went to his favorite place, the invisible mall. His friends Peter the Monkee, Davy the Monkee and Michael the Monkee were upset that Jimi the Monkee had gone by himself. They sent some hired goons to follow and rub out Jimi the Monkee. The goons, Rosco, Feist, and Ellery, arrived at the invisible mall fifteen minutes after Jimi the Monkee. Jimi the Monkee had already bought a large sack of invisible potatoes and a dozen invisible head warmers. All that Jimi the Monkee still needed was a pair of invisible salad tongs to toss some invisible salad.
Unfortunately the three goons had already checked with helpful clerks at the invisible head warmer and invisible potatoes shops to see if they had seen Jimi the Monkee. Nobody had seen him, so the goons had decided that he must of been there. The goons went to the invisible kitchen utensil kiosk, the only other shop in the invisible mall. As they walked to the invisible kiosk, they adjusted the sensitivity of the heat detecting goggles they all wore so they could see the invisible stores and, most importantly, Jimi the Monkee. They saw Jimi the Monkee standing right in front of the invisible kitchen utensils kiosk. As the trio leveled their crossbows Jimi the Monkee flew into the sky taking the sack of invisible potatoes, the dozen invisible head warmers, and the invisible salad tongs. The goons fired their crossbows and killed the salesman at the invisible kiosk since they had nothing better to do. Then a space man appeared to them and inquired about the location of the invisible mall.
Jimi the Monkee soon landed at home with the other Monkees and they all shared an invisible dinner with invisible french fries and invisible salad, served properly with invisible salad tongs. Soon after finishing his serving of invisible mashed potatoes, Davy the Monkee smacked Jimi the Monkee upside the head and told him to take him on his next trip to the invisible mall. Jimi the Monkee nodded yes, then Davy the Monkee smacked him again and repeated his command. Jimi the Monkee told Davy the Monkee that he would take him. Davy the Monkee smacked Jimi the Monkee again and started yelling if he understood. Jimi the Monkee finally got up and grabbed Davy the Monkee's head and forced it to nod.
The rest of dinner went nicely. Afterwards, all of the Monkees went to sleep on a small couch with a full belly of invisible food.
Be here for our next episode!Same Monkee Time! Same Monkee Channel!
Note: Only Jimi the Monkee and a invisible kitchen utensil clerk were harmed in this episode. Next episode: I'm killing many people in the most bloody ways possible AND Jimi the Monkee becomes the sidekick of Steve the Comedee Geenius!
Bonus Q&A:
Q. What were all of the invisible head warmers for?
A. The television executives were upset by the frequent use of head warmers during the pilot, so Jimi the Monkee (Seeless Asswipe) decided that invisible head warmers would be more appropriate and less offensive to the television executives. The idea worked and the Monkees television program was put on the air by the same bastards that cancelled it later.
