So, I bet you are wondering how a person like me was almost elected to the highest office in the free world. Yes, I was almost the President of the United States of America.
It began sometime around November. I stated my dislike for all of the presidential candidates. However, being a person of only twenty-one years of age, my voice is seldom heard in the political arena. This year, I wanted to make a difference! My voice would be heard. I began a writing campaign that literally was taken up by millions of people throughout the United States. I ran my write-in campaign as a republocratdependent.
My campaign was based on two major issues. Freeing the monkeys from the Monkey House at the Philadelphia Zoo and the selling off of unwanted waste to the Russians. They don't have anything, so why can't they have our trash.
Anyway, I knew that if I were to be elected, I would be one of the few "Dark horse" presidents of the United States. My fellow "Dark horsies" would be James K. Polk and Rutherford B. Hayes. That's right, I would be amongst the great mediocrity of these two modest United States Presidents. I would be in great company - I think that goes without saying. But, how would my presidential election come into fruition? I would have people "write me in" on their election ballots.
Election day came and went. I watched the television for my returns. There were none! There were none at all. I do not know what could have happened. I even voted for myself - oh wait, I didn't. I forgot to vote for myself. Instead of doing that, I voted for somebody else. It was so confusing in that election machine. All of the lights and arrows and flashy clothes - I couldn't handle it. I nearly balled up on the ground and cried.
Two days after the election, I received an E-mail from my friend Jen from New Jersey. She had voted for me. Somebody voted for me! I was amazed to say the least. I had one vote!
I could have been the president of the United States of America. If only I had a few million more votes, if only I were thirty-five and if only I were not a citizen of Kazakhstan, I could have been the president of the United States of America.
