Interview with Sayra

Hi, I'm Teejay, and I’m interviewing princess sayra Magdalena, say hi

Hieee!!

Ok, and today, we're going to find out about the interesting life and times of a dancer right?

Yeah, I'm like the only virgin stripper ever.

Wow, I didn’t know that, okay now everyone knows this, well, “lots” of people, who read this.

Ok, So when did you start being a dancer?

Uhm I started when I was…

Oh wait, would you like to be called a dancer or stripper? You called yourself a stripper earlier.

Well, we call ourselves dancers.

Ok, I gotcha. So back to when you were starting…

I started dancing when I was 18 which is you know... you have to be 18 to start dancing.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, I couldn’t do it before I was 18, but I've always thought it would be kind of fun and interesting to do for some reason.

So was it like 18^th birthday, off to the club?

Heehe no, it didn’t go like that at all. My friend Jess’s cousin was a dancer, and Jess was like hanging out with her a lot and I started hanging out with her. She's this Gemini bimbo with implants and everything. I started going to the clubs to go to see what they were like just to see if I wanted to do it. And after going with her like a couple times I was really comfortable and then I did it, yeah.

You just referred to your friend's cousin as a "Gemini." Are you into astrology?

Oh yeah, I don’t know when I started studying it, probably when I was 17, but it was really interesting. And then I found out that all my ex-best friends and boyfriends were all Geminis and it was really freaky because when you don’t know about astrology, you don’t realize that you know, you have this pattern, but so now I know to avoid Geminis.

Wow, that’s interesting, I may have to re-interview you as an astrologer.

Yeah!

Ok uhmm yeah well uh where did you dance at? Or do you not want us to know?

Oh, I don’t care, I don’t dance there anymore. It'snot like you can come and hassle me.

I danced at a bunch of suburban bars like, Double Visions in Willow Grove, Baby Dolls, I don’t remember what town that’s in, but its really far somewhere, and what was that Seventh Heaven in Conshohocken and this other one was in Springtown, or spring somewhere I forget.

Spring house?

Boyersford, that’s where it was but I don’t remember the name of it.

So do you have an agent or something? Or do you work for one place and then they’re like, “Ok work at this place tonight?”

No, no, no, it's like this. Three of the places I worked at were owned by the same guy, and generally girls work at the same set of bars, the same set of girls, because all of the bars are different levels of whatever. You know? Like I would never never work in the city because I would not give a lap dance to save my life, you know? Plus suburban bars are so, like… uhm... ahhh… innocent. Sort of. You know? And you’re very safe and you don’t get near the guys or anything. So that’s the set I was at. It was like the baby bars. One guy owns 3 of them and these people owned the other one, and what you do is you have to audition at every bar and the bartenders give you bookings. What happens is, when you first start you have to just call in for a booking to see if someone called out. It's like you’re just a fill in, because they make a 3 month schedule every 3 months, so they book everyone way ahead of time and if you’re not on time to get booked for 3 months, you have to do the fill in thing for a while, then get your bookings in 3 month blocks at a time. Usually they’re all sort of different days, and you just sort of figure out you want to be at this bar on Fridays, this bar on Saturdays and this bar on other days.

So eventually you just get a steady schedule...

Sort of, but it's very flexible. Like they don’t get pissed that you call out, because it happens ALL the time. Actually what you have to do when you’re a dancer is you have to call and tell them you’re coming in or else they’ll find someone else to replace you.

Wow, heh.

Because they’re so used to girls flaking out or being tired because they partied too much and didn’t come in and everything. It's really flexible.

So how long were you doing this?

I was a dancer for a year. And the reason I stopped is because it got really really boring, cause I worked at the same 4 bars and I saw the same hundred girls everyday and the same ten customers at every bar and they played the same twenty songs every night. And it just got really, really, really boring.

So you got “regular guys?”

Yeah, you know it's really funny because the guys were so laid back. Like whenever I see scenes in movies that are guy strip bars you know? The ladies are like animals you know? And I sort of thought guys would be like that too. But they’re totally just lonely and pathetic. I thought I would go in and start hating men even more. You know but I--

Even more?

Yeah, well when I first started dancing I was a total feminazi, but I ended up feeling so sorry for them. You know because they’re so just pathetic and lonely and desperate.

So what kinda categories of guys would come in there?

All kindsa guys but usually there's a set of regulars at every bar that are usually in their 30s and 40s and that’s the place they go after work and they spend hours and hours everyday. They know all of the girls. And they don’t even watch the girls that much anymore. It's like “their place” or something like that? And all kinda guys would be in there, like really really old guys. And there’s this one REEEALLY old guy and he’s always had these really cheesy poems he would say to you. And you’d like be going around and trying to get your tips and get upstairs, and you get to him and he’d be like, he would say your name and put it in his cheesy poem and he’d just go on like he was really slow. He’s like “Lily, lily’s like a flower BLAH BLAH BLAH” and you’d be like “Ok give me my money, you know? This is really boring.” And uh. The worst guys--all the most gross like animal pig guys--were military guys, cops or like college guys. The worst, they were so annoying. If I saw a whole buncha college guys I would totally skip over them, I wouldn’t even go like get tips from them, because

A>they never tip well

B> they are totally out of control like they don’t know what they’re doing. They’re jerks.
So I would just skip over them.

Do you remember any college shirts in particular? Like a specific place or area?

No I don’t. You know, it would just be from wherever, Conshohocken, Lower Merion, wherever. I don’t know exactly where. But guys who would just turn 21 and go. They’re usually just total idiots. And you’re just like “fuck you," you know. "Forget it, I don’t need your fuckin' money.” You know these old guys will give me way more money than you have. Hehe. One time I got a $50 tip--it was awesome.

Oh my god, from one guy?

Yeah, for no reason. I didn’t do a lap dance or anything.

Was it the poem guy?

Oh no, it wasn’t the poem guy. You know how some old ladies tip the waitresses, like 50 cents. Some old guys are confused about what money's worth. But yeah one guy gave me $50 and I was like, “thanks!” hehe.

Did you have a special name you go by in the beginning or change your name during your “dancing career?”

Oh yeah, you pick a name you know.

What was your name?

I was Lily.

Lily! Oh like the flower?

Hahaha yeah, I started out being Lilith but whenever I would be going around the guys would say, “What's your name,” and I’d be like, “Lilith,” and they thought I was saying “Louis.”Sso I started going by Lily because they could like understand that. Because they’re sorta beer addled and you know...

Guys are stupid.

Yeah they are. I agree 100 percent hehehe. I wouldn’t sit somewhere and give someone my money for nothing. You know, but whatever.

I don’t understand, that and phone sex.

Yeah, I totally did it for a power trip. Because I can go take money from idiots, it's cool, I didn’t have to work.

About how much did you pull in each night.

Well you worked 4 hour shifts, and you'd work 15 minutes an hour and the rest of the hour you’d be up in the dressing room doing whatever, reading a book…

So its only an hour’s worth of work a night?

Yeah, and the I think the most I ever made was like.. I think I hit 300 one time. And that’s no couch dancing, and no anything like that. But if you have an afternoon shift, and its really, really slow you can leave with only like $40, and you’re like, “oh this sucks.” But it's still $10 an hour, which is better than you get at Borders or whatever.

Yeah “ha-ha” yeah.

Hhehee

“Couch dancing?”

Oh god, that’s like the grind you know, in the back room, its like the dry fuck. It’s gross and I would never ever ever ever do that. I never touched any guys ever. I never got close to them or anything.

So what kinda stuff did you do?

Well what you do is you go onstage for songs, and you dance and you keep a g-string on…

What were your songs?

Oh gosh, I danced to.. well my 2 favorite songs that I always always always danced to every single night were off the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. The radiohead song “Talk Show Host” and the Butthole Surfers “Whatever.” I loved dancing to those 2 songs and I like to dance to the Thrill Kill Kult a lot and Switchblade Symphony is really good to dance to. And of course like stuff like NIN and Tool are fun to dance to. I’m into everything.

Oh yeah, diverse thing. I was saying... where were we? Uhh ok, you get up you dance…

Oh yeah, so you have 2 songs and you start off with like a little outfit on. Which at the bars I worked at they weren’t too elaborate, usually just a little nightgown thing. Or whatever. And during the first song you usually keep like all your clothes on. And then during the second song, then you start getting your clothes off. And have your g-string. And you had to wear stickers... they called them “pasties” but they were basically little stickers. You had to wear the on your nipples. For some reason it's some kind of law around here or whatever. And it's really funny, cause you could have the tiniest stickers you wanted to you know, as long as you had a sticker on your nipple then you were legal, but if you didn’t, then you weren’t. And the stickers, some girls would have these super duper TINY little stickers...

Like those little… what do you call em, you know in notebooks, they have those reinforced little circle things...

Yeah?

That small and smaller?

Yeah like just super tiny, like they would just stick a tiny little thing on the end of their nipple and they’re legal you know? I would always have these huge bats, hehehe.

Bats?

They were really cool, yeah. I liked them and they were like the hugest--no one had huger stickers than me, hehe.

You’re number 1!!

Yeah, and it’s really fun.. eew and some guys collect the stickers from girls.

Eew, were the guys like. “can I have your stickers...aaeeehhhh.”

Some guys keep them on their license and biker guys would keep them on their helmets. It's sort of like…

A trophy?

Yeah cause the girls don’t really give them away that much because they have to keep them on and the bartenders get really pissed if you don’t have it on.

So you keep using them or what?

Well you put them on at the beginning of your shift and you take ‘em off at the end of your shift.

So didja buy a roll of your own stickers or what?

Yeah, for a while I was getting all different kinds but then I settled on the bats because they went with everything and they were cool. And... what else... I loved all the outfits and makeup and the shoes and the hair. It's like a slumber party in the dressing room all the time you know, because it would be all these girls and they’re just talking about where you bought your shoes. And oh my god, none of us were turned on by any of it at all. The last thing we were thinking about was sex, we were just like “oh those are really great shoes blah blah blah blah blah” and then we’d go downstairs and put on our little show then we’d like come back upstairs and have fun. And go “haha I got all this money from those idiots” hahaha.

Hahaha.

So you dance for 2 songs and there's a stage, most of the places are set up so that there's a bar that’s a circle or sort of like a circle and the stage is in the middle of the bar, so the bartender is between you and the people. And you’re onstage and you do your 2 songs, and then during your third song, cause you put 3 songs on the jukebox or you have the dj play 3 songs. During your third song you go around for tips, you go up to every guy and you’re like “hi, how are you, blah blah blah” and you get a tip. And you have to go to every guy and get tips unless you don’t feel like getting money which is, like the point of being there, to get money.

So it's nothing like guys coming up to the stage and putting stuff in your…

No no, not at the bars I worked at at all. Some girls would go around do little dances for each guy or turn around and bend over for every guy or whatever. But I NEVER did. I was so prude, I was like the prudest dancer ever. And all the guys loved me anyway, they thought I was the greatest thing.

Cool.

Yeah it was funny because I didn’t do anything bad, like I never crawled onstage, I didn’t know any pole tricks or anything. I basically just walked back and forth and posed, you know I didn’t do anything like, yucky.

Did you ever see any guys or anyone you knew?

No actually no, because I was 18, and anyone I knew from school or anything was too young to go to those bars, they weren’t allowed to get in yet. And I quit before anyone I knew would be 21.

So you did you go to school at the time?

No I didn’t, I quit the bookstore I was working at and started dancing. Half year after I started dancing, I got bored with all of my extra spare time, becauseI only worked like 3 shifts a week, and that’s 12 hours, you know what I mean, so like the rest of my time I would be spending money and that’s not good. So I started working at Borders part time, and then I was a part time dancer, part time bookstore clerk. Hehe Which is really funny because I get treated yuckier at bookstores than I do when I’m a dancer. It’s really pathetic.

Maybe I should start dancing.

Yeah you should! Go down to the Cave or whatever. There's this guy, Mitch, that’s in XIII PFP, and I think he’s a dancer. Actually I’m pretty sure he’s a dancer. And he already bought a house I think.

Oh my god.

Yeah he like makes tons of money, cause there’s only one guy bar to the hundred girl bars there are around, and all the ladies just go there and have a crazy night out and spend all their money and get really drunk and whatever. It's not the same scene as the guy bars, cause the guys practically live there. You rarely ever see people there that you haven’t before. Once in a while some nervous girls will come in and there's this one weird couple that was always at Babydolls and Seventh... no Babydolls and the Boyersford one. And there's this couple and they looked like these yuppie people you know? And they would come in and there were this wife and husband and they’d be like “oh we think you look really good up there, blah blah blah” and they’re having this weird conversation with you, they were so weird.

They probably wanted to invite you to…do... something…

They looked like all uptight kinda people, it was really bizarre. But they were really nice, I mean they always tipped well and everything.

Some girls are afraid to tip you because the way you get tipped is in your cleavage. So some girls are all like.. “uhhh” all nervous and like don’t want to tip you because they think its weird or whatever. But the first time they told me that’s how you get your tips I was like “oh great, eew” but after you do it it's like you have to do it and you’re like “Ok, I get money if I do this.”

Do you miss it?

I do miss it because actually because it is actually fun. You get onstage and dance, and I love dancing.

You’ve seen me dance, do you think I got what it takes?

Yes you do.

Oh really?

Right away I was thinking, “You know what, he’s dancer material. Too bad he doesn’t have tits."

Yeah, yeah.

Hehehe.

Seriously.

Hehehe That’s where all the money is.

And the fun too--so I guess if you don’t have any tits, you can't get your tips?

Well no, the guys get it down the pants

No no I meant at your bar.

Oh no no no, me and other girls that did have like huge, like big boobs, you know? We would do it this way so that it was mostly our hands, like I can demonstrate. You go like this and they would put it between your hands. So you’re actually luckier if you don’t have big knockers cuz then you don't have to have money touching your skin.

Yeah money’s pretty dirty too.

Yeah money’s pretty fuckin' gross. But it’s really satisfying to have this stack of ones you know and you’re like “ha! I didn’t do anything for this!” heheh “I didn’t do anything! I just walked around and let them watch me” hehe it's cool.

When I first started it was even cooler because you had an hourly rate plus tips.

Wow.

Yeah! When I first started most bars paid you ten dollars an hour.

Whoa!

Plus you would get tips, but then a couple of months after I was already there all of the bars totally dicked everyone over. Cause all the girls were used to it. Usually girls who are dancers stay dancers forever. Usually they don’t leave, and they’re just dancers forever and ever and ever, because it's so easy, and it's hard to go to a real job where no one appreciates you and you don’t get any money. And you have to work all the time. It's so hard to transition. Because one of the things I really liked about dancing when I started doing it was that you get instant gratification, you get instant money, you get complimented up the ass and where do you ever get that at your normal job? You can work your ass off at your job and all you get is grief for what you didn’t do. But all you get is complimented, complimented, complimented, here’s some money, here’s some money. You know? And that’s fun.

What kinda stuff didja wear? Did you have a motif or anything?

Well, certain outfits sort of went along with certain songs. And I’m kinda partial to little baby doll type nighty things, that are just short little nightgowns or like a-line you know because they’re good and sort of flowy and whatever. And I had all different colors and stuff, I wasn’t strictly all black or anything.

So what would you wear to [Radiohead’s] “Talk Show Host?”

Well, I think I have a purple, nighty thing with matching g-string that I like to wear. It was purple lace, and sort of went with it, and I always always... oh it was really funny, I didn't tell you this--when I first started dancing, I wore a wig all the time.

Really? What color was the wig?

It was that Bettie Page wig. It was black, because I had had really short black and I was just more comfortable wearing the wig, because of the classic grrrl thing. And it went more with my little outfits and everything, because otherwise I look sort of like a punk or whatever.

Did the wig ever fall off or anything?

Oh no no no, wigs are pretty stable. But it's really funny because I wore it for the first 2 months I was a dancer, I wore it all the time and then I started switching my wigs around. And not wearing wigs sometimes, because my hair grew a little more and sometimes guys would be like “ohh you cut your hair” but then I’d be wearing a blond wig one day. It's really funny cause guys are so stupid, guys are like, soooo stupid. Its fuckin' ridiculous how stupid they are.

I know.

Oh yeah, I always, always, always, always, always wore thigh highs, for some reason. I thought It looked better you know? It looks kinda half-assed if you have a g-string and shoes on. It’s so funny how nonchalant we all are about it too. It’s such a normal thing it becomes so normal and you are just so nonchalant you’re just like, “Oh I have to go down and do my set, I’ll be right back.” You know its sorta like taking out the trash or something. Well most of your night is spent upstairs with the other girls.

So what do you guys do up there?

Chat, and I used to bring my tarot cards along and do readings for people, and just find out about each other. Because you get to work with a lot of different girls and meet a lot of really cool chicks. You have to be a certain kinda chick to be a dancer. Most of them weren’t sluts you know? Because, if you go in there and you just want to be a slut… you really... it doesn’t work out for you. You’re not supposed to date the guys. If you’re gonna be a slut, just go to the bar and be a slut, or be a prostitute.

Do you still keep in contact with any of them?

No, they’re very nomadic, like nightlife.. flighty kinda people, you can’t really keep up with them. I was the youngest one, everyone was way older than me. I was the only 18 year old.

Who was the next one up, agewise?

I think they were all at least 23, everyone else. Yeah and they went all the way up to…there’s this one old hag who was in her 40s, she was soooo old. And the funny thing is that there are some horrendous looking girls out there. And the guys like them anyway.

Just because of their bodies? Or just...

[we both say] because they’re naked hahaha

There were some overweight chicks, there were girls' really ugly tiny boobs or really huge scary sloppy, saggy boobs.

Eewww.

There was this one girl who has the hugest hips and ass that I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life.

I had a substitute teacher like that.

But every guy is weird and likes a different kind of whatever, its creepy. And there were a couple of really old ladies that would be there. What I found really cool was that everyone had such a different style on stage. There’s always the slutty ones that crawl around on the floor and simulate touching themselves and stuff. That’s really boring. But some girls can do some amazing stuff on the pole, like pole tricks. Amazing.

I saw this thing on real tv, some woman was outside spinning around and stuff on her flagpole.

Oh yeah! I remember that. I was going to try and learn to do that kinda stuff, but you have to be so tough and strong and stuff to be able to do that. And it hurts, you get bruises all over you. It’s sooo terrible, those girls are really tough. And the poles didn’t spin either so you could get all these like, abrasions on your legs.

I can tell you how you get the job. What you do is you go to a bar and during regular hours, you just get on the stage and do it. Then the bartender decides if they want to give you bookings or they don’t want to give bookings. But basically your interview is getting on the stage and doing it in front of customers and everybody. Which is kinda weird because you would think that you would dance for just the manager. But that’s not what happens.

Did you ever have guys wanting to take it outside of the bar or anything?

Well actually sometimes guys--actually a lot of times. I got a lot of numbers from guys, which is ridiculous because I could have this collection of stupid guy phone numbers. Because what guy thinks he’s gonna get the girls when they go there.

I actually I went somewhere with 2 guys I met at bars, which I swore I’d never do, because I don’t like guys who drink and I don’t like guys who waste their money in bars. The one guy was there with all his friends and he was drinking a coke and he was really shy and he wasn’t watching anybody, and he sorta reminded me of Clark Kent he was really burly and really innocent. He was really sweet and quiet. And he was all shy. He thought I looked like Drew Barrymore, and he loved Drew Barrymore. So we went out one time and played pool and ate pizza.

Were you blond then?

I don’t think I was blond actually at that time, I think I just had short black hair. Actually like a couple of years ago everyone said I looked like Drew Barrymore, but now everyone says I look like Angelina Jolie, like everyone.

Eehh yeah kinda, but I knew you before she got big. So you’re you to me. But I think you’d have better taste than Billy Bob Thorton.

Oh Yeah I definitely would, but I didn’t go out with that guy to hook up with him. I was just interested to see what he was like, cause he was kinda interesting looking. But he was so boring. He was really really super polite and he was like all old-fashioned, like opening doors and paying for you and everything. And he was very quiet and shy.

So that’s annoying?

Well he was just really boring, he had nothing to say or anything. Like, he was nice and I thought it was really nice that he was nice, but…

Did he ask you out or what?

Yeah he was like “blah blah blah...” I dunno how exactly it went, but I was like “ok!” and then the other time, it was the afternoon and I was working at Double Visions. And this guy was also drinking coke. And he was from new Orleans and he had this awesome accent. And I wanted to go to Dorney Park, so I asked him if he wanted to drive me to Dorney Park and he did. Heheh

Heehhe sucker.

So other than that I threw all the numbers away.

Do you have any tips for guys who want to present themselves to dancers?

Don’t try to pick up dancers at the club, that doesn’t work. The only reason I did is cause I’m crazy and I have my own weird reasons. Like I just wanted to see what was going on with these people. I didn’t want to date them or anything. And if a dancer will date you, then she’s a slut.

So like… guaranteed action?

Yeah right, no hehehe. Guaranteed disease. No, don’t go to a bar to pick up chicks. That’s like the stupidest thing you can do. Because there’s all kinds of easy sluts at normal bars you can get. You know? Just because we’re naked doesn’t mean we’re easy.

Ok, alright, point noted. Did you have a significant other at the time?

No, no, if I had a boyfriend I wouldn’t want him to want me to dance, I’d want him to be like “No! or I’m gonna dump you!” because I’d be really pissed if my girlfriend was a dancer and other people were looking at her. Actually the boyfriend I have now, he doesn’t even want to know about it, he’s just like “Shut up!” he gets really angry and he’s all like “Ugghh it makes me feel angry!” and I’m like “Shut up. It doesn’t matter.” But its really funny because at the time, no boy I had ever dated had seen me as naked as all these strangers have, cause I’m like a total prude. So it’s totally 100% not about sex you know, but the boys don’t know that, all the boys in the bar don’t know any better.

Cuz if they think it is, they’ll give you more money

Yeah exactly.

Did the things you wore on stage affect your fashion off stage or vice versa?

Oh no, I’ve always dressed in tight short little clothes. I’m like a Madonna type chick, I think that looks good, that’s the kinda thing I like, it’s my kinda style.

So what you’re wearing right now is essentially what you’d be wearing?

Well not at the bar because this wouldn’t work. But yeah the same kinda style.

Well, you look pretty rockin’ I think

Cool, I’ve always been a fashion queen and it was no different at the bar. Shoes were the funnest part.

Oh really? What kinda stuff did you wear?

You wear these heels that are impossible and have these huge platforms plus these huge spiked heels. You only have to be onstage for 10 minutes so you don’t necessarily have to be able to walk in them or wear them for very long.

Did you ever wear those really high stiletto things?

Oh yeah, I already wear those kinda shoes normally now, but I actually learned how to walk on those shoes by being a dancer.

So did you ever fall off stage or anything?

No I never fell, but ohh my gosh though.. I have this one kinda g-string that the sides unclipped. I dunno if you’ve ever seen those kinds…

No, not recently.

One time there was this really mischievous girl. And she always started trouble for fun.. not like bad trouble, just a mischievous kind of thing. And I was going around and the chick came up behind me and unhooked them while I was going around for tips. So a couple of guys saw a little bit of something, but not much because they didn’t come all the way off. So I didn’t wear those anymore since there’s all kindsa mishaps that happen with detachable underwear.

Tell me about the chicks that were there.

There was this one chick from Texas or somewhere. She was so funny, she reminded me a lot of Sally from 3^rd Rock from the Sun. She was this big blonde, she was all tall and really tough. She had a truck and toolbox and she'd be like “some asshole touched my tool box!” She was like the funniest. She was a biker chick or something, she was so fuckin' funny, and there was this one lady who was studying to be a teacher. She was this short little petite nice-looking chick and she’d come in and she’d put on her little outfits and she goes down and she totally was the sexiest dancer ever, but without being a pig. But she looked like a teacher before she got all her stuff on and went down. She was so nice. There were some kinda older goth chicks… but the prevailing music was old rock.. like Bon Jovi .. and any kind of old rock. Just bad, old, rock. Like if you wanted good tips from guys, you’d put on like AC/DC, or Ozzy Osbourne, it was really upsetting. They listened to my music and they’d be like “what is this?” There were all different types though. But none of them were really yucky sluts cuz the yucky sluts work in philly, cause they get totally naked and do couch dances and get lots of more money you know?

Yeah and lots more diseases, “Here, have some disease!”

Yeah, totally gross.

Do you have any advice for aspiring young dancers?