I Want to be a Swimsuit Model by Matt Heayn People should be allowed to follow their dreams, no matter what age, gender, or level of hairyness. Rad Ads & Tiny Jingles by Alice Teeple Ads that are rad, and ads that are sad. Try saying that ten times fast--betcha can't. But then again, why would you want to. The Sad Lives of the Monkey People by Leona Clark No one ever stops to think about them, but they're there. And they've got monkeys. Acting Like an Idiot in Foreign Lands by Jasmine Chapgar There are adventures, and then there are "adventures." What I Should Have Said / What I Did Say by Max Burbank Chuck E. Cheese Skeeball FAQ v.432.8 by Steve Matthews A no-nonsense analysis of the sport, meant for people who are tired of winning those three-ticket plastic spider rings and ready to enter the big leagues. Ask Doctor Duh by Doctor Duh Free advice; sarcasm at no extra charge. Get Rid of the Penny by Jonah Platt and Theodore Bressman A desperate plea to make cents our cash system. Crackers by Matt Heayn When you love crackers as much as Matt does, it's hard when other people don't take them seriously. Greenlake: The Weighting is the Worst Part by Brady Carlson Another feature from our intrepid field reporter in Greenlake, Wisconsin. People Are Suckers by Mr. Interesting It's true, if you think about it. Goodwill Sweater by Alice Teeple An ode to a wonderful sweater. I Love Paris in the Fall by Danesh Bharucha If you ever move to Paris, try to keep it a secret as long as you can. Otherwise, you will have the strangest of house guests. Ode to a Dirty Hippie by Julie Stimmler Another homage to the long-admired dirty hippie. Hair Gel by Fifi LeBourne Fifi offers her insight into the life of a 13-year-old boy growing up in California. Mr. Willy Yums by Ryan Hargrave Make sure you are investing in a quality product before you put your money down. Definitely Superheroes by Mr. Interesting Nothing more than a couple of ordinary superheroes, really.