I pulled open the window and pulled myself into the house, unable to believe how stupid
the Johnson's had been to leave it unlocked. Their material possessions would soon be mine!
I soon became aware of a high-pitched sound, not unlike that made by a security system,
awaiting for me to enter the code that would disable it. Upon investion, I was quite surprised
to discover this was exactly what it was. "How embarrassing." I thought to myself. "This is
certainly unfortunate." Thinking quickly, I realized I could probably get the stereo out before the
police arrived. I was about to go for it when the phone rang.
I considered ignoring it, but I knew that it was the security company. I thought maybe if I
answered I could stall them. "Hello?" I innocently spoke into the mouthpiece.
"Hello, this is Edison Security. The alarm for this residence has been triggered. Who are
you?"
"I'm your worst nightmare!" I expertly replied.
"What?! Who is this? What's the password?"
"Ummm, no one here but us chickens?" I asked.
"Ok you, tell me who you are or I'll have twenty cops there so fast, you won't know
what's happening!"
"Fine, fine. Actually, this is the baby-sitter, one of the kids triggered the system and I
didn't know how to shut it off, but I bet you can do it for me."
"What's the password Mister Baby-sitter?" the woman on the other end inquired. This
was when I realized I was beat. That was unless of course I could scare this dame. I began
speaking again in a much more commanding tone.
"Password? What password?! I ain't got no friggin' password, cupcake brain!"
"I'm sending someone over there, and you better know that password!"
"Your sending someone over here mama?! I don't think so! I think I'm sending someone
over there! That's right you sucker! Screw your password, and screw you!"
I slammed the phone down and ran to my car. The Franklin office was only 3 miles from
here. I pushed down the gas and sped out of the neighborhood. On my way out I passed three
cop cars, probably heading for the house. "Won't this be ironic?" I thought.
I pulled up to the building, jumped out of my car and burst in the door. I pulled my gun
from its holster and pointed it at the security people. "Where's the french-fried idiot who just
called 527 Elm Street?!" I shouted, waving my pistol around for emphasis. Everyone was scared
stiff, but slowly, they all pointed at one woman.
"Thanks a lot guys," she said. I walked up to her.
"What's the password?!" I shouted.
"I don't know." she said. I put my gun up to her forehead and asked again.
"What's the password, monkeybutt?" She began weeping and crying.
"Please! I don't know! Don't shoot me! I'll do anything!" She threw herself at my feet
and continued begging.
"All you have to do is tell me the password! What is the password, cranberry cranium?!"
She began screaming. "I don't know your password!" I had had enough. I squeezed the
trigger over and over again, covering the woman in red paint. Finally, I ran out of paintballs.
When the woman realized what had happened, she could only stare at me with horror in
her eyes. Then, she just fell on the floor weeping. I looked at her and said "Wrong password,
jello for brains! You're.. so.. dumb!!"
Then I turned around and shouted "Okay! Does anyone else wanna mess with me?!
Didn't think so!" I turned back to lady and tied her shoelaces together, and then I drove into the
night, laughing manically.
