 |
by Jasmine Chapgar All right all you mushroom-haters out there -- let's have a little chat. Can't stand mushrooms? "Ewww fungi!" right? Don't eat them in salads, you pick them off of ... pizza ... well sheesh have you ever actually tried them? Or is the idea of eating a fungus too much for you? Let me tell you a little story... Back in the day when I was still below the average adult's knee I would never touch a mushroom. A mushroom? Ew gross. How revolting... little gray weird looking thing I saw occasionally growing in the front yard except was I allowed to eat THOSe? no way. This all is logical -- but for one fact: I had never actually tried them. So one day when the family and some friends had gotten mushroom pizza and I prepared to pick all mine off my dad said "Hold on a minute there -- I want you to try one before you pick off all these delicious mushrooms. Just one. And then you can pick the rest off." I was a rather reasonable child and I said "FINE." I took hold of one of them, held my breath and chewed. . . . . . . WoW! Unbelievable! Look what I've been missing! I shouted in my mind. Ever the sly child though I said to my expectant father "Oh hmm they're not bad," and he smiled and turned back to his previous conversation. I then proceeded to eat all the mushrooms on my slice at an incredibly fast speed -- must make up for all these mushrooms I've been missing! I was even reduced to eating one that I had dropped on the floor in my haste (after washing it off of course) because I so craved these delectable little shrooms. Once my slice of pizza was nothing more than a sea of sauce, I slinked around the table and jumped onto the road of a criminal -- stealing mushrooms left and right -- someone turned their head for a minute, and zwoop! Their mushrooms had mysteriously vanished. I was fantastically and crazily hooked on mushrooms. Ever since this discovery was made I have been an avid fan of mushrooms -- raw, on pizza, in hot and sour soup, in sandwiches, on burgers, in chinese food and right off the grass (well not really that far!) So for Toadstool's sake -- try one! Jasmine Chapgar can be often found in the corner of an empty room, talking to the walls and the ceiling about the advantages of mushrooms over any other pizza topping. When in this state, it is usually best to leave her alone during these spells, even if for days at a time, if that's what it takes, lest she rip your head off and stuff mushrooms down your neck and then dance the dance of the Fungus Queen, because that's what she does. Yeah. |
