There once was a principal
Who was no one's pal
He was an extremely crabby guy,
But I have no idea why.
He loved nothing better than to berate a kid
For some vile misdeed he did.
For example, he's likely to raise a fuss
If you jump out the back door of the bus.
A suspension you will surely get
If he sees you with a cigarette.
Outside of school he has no life.
He can't even play the fife.
The stress of the job causes him to take pills,
But for his job, he needs no real skills
Except, of course, how to administrate
And, more importantly, how to intimidate.
So if you're a crabby guy who likes to yell,
You'd be a good Principal, I can tell.
Phil Allen
is the perfect paragon of a pyromaniac. He has put more cities up in blazes
than you can shake a flamethrower at. Phil was responsible for the Great Conflagration of San
Francisco in 1906 and all three burnings-down of London Bridge, not to mention
the countless number of times he has set his comrades' hair aflame.
The only way he could perform all of these heinous acts undetected was to
act as a double agent firefighter. He was last seen trying to flee with an
attack dalmation clamped to his leg.
