"I Love College Food" by Jasmine Chapgar

I love College Food.
by Jasmine Chapgar

Ah me, at last I know the meaning of 'fast'
When I dine in the hall with the rest of my class.
Should it be grease, or powder, or limp little leaves?
Should I just take the old macaroni and cheese?
Now just what kind of meat is this?
Mystery meat? I think it's one type I'll miss.
I wander with my tray about the wondrous selection
And wonder if there's another place I can luncheon.
Of course there is the other dining hall
Where I can eat crusted broccoli and a moldy meatball
Let's see... I could take a 3-hour bus to a diner
Or even some place much much finer.
But then what of my prepaid meal plan?
Of living on green beans and their cans of spam?
Gee... I forgot about the vending machines,
An easy place for junk food it seems.
Eating just french fries seems pretty common
Of course I could just trying living on Ramen
Monosodium Glutamate land I used to avoid
But it's something I'm using to fill up the void
In my empty stomach when it is veal night.
Oh, I can't stand the thought of taking a bite
Of 'Fish Crusted Patties' and 'Tomato based fatties!'
This cuisine has left me in a sickening plight.

Disclaimer: My college doesn't really serve Fish Crusted Patties, although it would be an improvement if they did.

Disclaimer 2: I don't really love college food. I was just kidding.

Jasmine Chapgar is currently in a state of limbo of being neither happy nor unhappy after having been placed in a strange and new environment of mostly females. There are moments of greatness and moments of distress but on the whole -- limbo limbo yea. A strange coincidence to this is that Jasmine is also the limbo champion of the 1994 band banquet and a few other places at that -- gasp! Her flexibility is sure to reach even higher levels as she is pursuing the martial art Juujistu, as well as Tae Kwon Do. Oh yes -- and if anyone has any suggestions on what Jasmine should be doing with the rest of her life -- please let her know. Thank you and eat lots of carrots.

I am Smart!

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