"that Thing should not have that many legs" by pNaomi Moos

that Thing should not have that many legs
by pNaomi Moos

Right there, on the wall next to me in the bathroom. Do you see it? It has nowings and yet it clings steadily to the wall, even when I blow forcefully towards it, which is something I do not believe that I like doing. This is a very creepy sort of bug because what is it doing with those antennae that look exactly like its alarmingly long and numerous legs?

And just how many legs does it, in fact, have? If I were in charge I'd make a law that everybody has to register their number of legs with a National Leg Registry, which I would personally oversee. Then I would check to make sure tht everybody has the right number of legs, and whoever had too many would get banished. And that Thing on the wall there would be the first against the wall when the revolution came, because first of all it has already resisted my attempts to count its legs, and second of all, it has clearly too many.

         What does it think it is doing with all of those legs? It can't possibly need them to cling to this wall, because I've seen bugs with many fewer legs that clung to walls just as well as this Thing does. It obviously can't carry anything with them, because it can't even lift just one of them above it's thorax. They don't help this Thing think or read or anything, because if they did, then this bug would have seen the prominently-displayed "No Bugs Allowed" sign, written in three major world languages and accompanied by a pictogram. And there's no way that more legs for this Thing automatically equals the ability to escape predators, because it can barely get itself moving quickly enough to dodge this shoe I am throwing at it.

         Now there is no way that Thing should have that many legs, because it's not even alive anymore.

         Besides, I did make a sign, in three different language and even a pictogram to go with it, that says very cleverly "No Bugs Allowed." Dumb bug. Should have read the sign instead of wastings its time with all those legs.

pNaomi Moos is a silly little girl who goes to Chatham College and hangs out with the Role-playing geeks at Carnegie-Mellon all the time, even though she doesn't have her driver's license plus the fact that she hates it when Tony says license because he pronounces it "lincense." Isn't that quaint!

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